My Struggle with Homosexuality

Im going to share my struggling with homosexuality to help those struggling with homosexuality. Im sharing this because I want to help those struggling with homosexuality.

I want to start with explaining things from my teen years.

When I was around 13-14 our family fell apart and I was facing homelessness. I sat with a man who knew my mom and stepdad and by the way he talked to me I discerned i was going to be homelessness. Because he sat telling me some ways of how people survive on the streets. I was afraid I was between 13-14 I can’t remember my exact age but I wouldn’t have been any older than 14. I was afraid   I thought to go to family. I tried to go back to my childhood friends and I had no help. I didn’t know what to do I was afraid of getting raped so I considered shaving a moustache and dressing like a guy so I wouldn’t get raped. I was terrified. I couldn’t shave a moustache and I didn’t want to dress like a boy. I travelled around to try find a home with people I knew previously. A man I knew was willing to help me, take care of me with his family but he was suffering from an alcohol addiction and I was afraid to be around him like that. 

When I got hungry I was ashamed to beg I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I thought to hide my face and hold a sign and I still couldn’t do it. ( so I have a lot of compassion and respect for people asking for money and holding signs. They really have to humble themselves to do it and to choose that over crime and prostitution is beautiful. We should all help people in need.)

I started to prostitute. And after awhile I started to hate men. Like monster (from the movie) hated men. I don’t know her real name. I started to feel like I wanted to carry a weapon and hurt the men. Then I was at my moms and the movie about monster was on. It was at the part where they showed her and her friend then her with the men and her wanting to hurt them I can’t remember what happened but I was able to see someone going through what I was going through. I felt used and I wanted to hurt the men. But after I saw that part of that movie I didn’t want to do that anymore.

But I struggled a lot as a young teen trying to find my identity. I had many different looks and I dressed inappropriately. I wanted to be a punk, a skater, a prep, I wanted dread locks, I struggled a lot.

I seen things and I started to want wrong things. 

I don’t know exactly why Ive struggled with homosexuality I just have.  So this has been something I have somewhat secretly struggled with. The devil tries to use women to tempt me.

I am a Christian and I struggle with sin/temptation. 

So what can I do? What does God and Jesus want me to do? And will I go to Heaven? Will this hurt my relationship with God and Jesus? Can this hurt my relationship with God and Jesus.

God has a law, the law was given through Moses and grace was realized through Jesus Christ. 

“For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.” John 1:17

God does not want two men or two women laying together in any kind of sexual relationship. 

So do I sin if I see a filthy picture?

No if a filthy picture or man or woman comes to my attention I need to look away and don’t look back dont keep staring at it or the person and try not to think about it or the person. If the devil is fighting to try to get me to think about it or look back then you need to ask God and Jesus for help, to help you in your weakness. Maybe you’ve cried out many times or fallen into that sin many times, say your sorry and keep serving God and Jesus and try not to do it again. Avoid the area the persons in or don’t look. 

Do you sin if you keep looking?

Yes if I keep staring at it or them. And think about it and have lustful thoughts and try to please yourself with them or while thinking about it then that is sin.

Just because you have a thought of something filthy that is not sin. That may be the devil trying to tempt you. You sin if you keep thinking of the evil thought.

I am a Christian and I struggle with sin/temptation, what should I do?

You need to cast your cares upon the Lord because He cares for you.  “casting all your aanxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7. God and Jesus know what you have done and what you will do so tell them what you struggle with and ask them to help you resist that sin/resist the devil.

You should also try to fast which you will set a period of time and start to have a water fast. You will set a short period of time at first and then you resist eating when you do this you may need to pray to ask God and Jesus to take away the urge/ temptation to eat food.  As you do this you are building self control.

What do God and Jesus want me to do?

God and Jesus want you to love them with all your mind heart and soul and all your strength and love your neighbor as yourself, and to try be obedient. If you sin you will suffer the consequences,say your sorry and Jesus will cleanse you from your sin if we confess our sins. 

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1John1:9

God and Jesus want you to read your Bible. It’s great to listen to sermons and Christian music and movies.

Will I go to heaven if I struggle with homosexuality?

I struggle with homosexuality and I believe I will go to heaven. But what I can’t do is enter into any homosexual relationship or think thoughts about it. Or look at any filthy things. Then I will go to heaven if I am seeking God and Jesus trying to do right. The devil may come and try to tempt me and I just need to look away and not think about evil things. If you do sin you confess your sins and keep seeking God and Jesus.

Will this hurt my relationship with God and Jesus? 

Not if you stay faithful to God and Jesus and resist the devil/temptation.

Can this hurt my relationship with God and Jesus.

Homosexuality will hurt your relationship with God and Jesus if you continue to have same sex relationships 

You come to Jesus as you are and He will change you. You need to resist the devil. 

I don’t have a strong desire anymore to be with a woman but the devil tries to tempt me with them. So I believe I do still struggle with homosexuality and God and Jesus love me very much and will welcome me into Their Kingdom if I am obedient and try to resist the devil and the temptation of a sexual relationship with a woman. If ever we sin we just confess our sins to God and His Son Jesus.

“and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. 25For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. “1 Peter 2:24-25

The desire for homosexuality is a feeling, I can’t change my feelings I can only resist evil and pray one day I don’t feel like that anymore.

Shalom, I pray everyone is blessed with peace through His Son Jesus.

God made men men and women women boys boys and girls girls.

“God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.28God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:27-28

you cannot continue in sin same sex is a sin and you need to stop sinning against God and Jesus.