My Testimony

Hannah Hildebrandt’s

testimony

Formerly Carmen Lee Sharkey

2 Timothy 1:8-10 ("Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity, but now has been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel,”) 2 Timothy 1:8-10

Revelation 12:11 ("And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death.") Revelation 12:11

Revelation 19:10 (Then I fell at his feet to worship him. But he said to me, "Do not do that; I am a fellow servant of yours and your brethren who hold the testimony of Jesus; worship God. For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”) Revelation 19:10

First of all I would like to explain why I give my former name in my testimony. I want everyone who knew me before I came back to God and Jesus and knew all the terrible sins I had committed, to know that I found forgiveness for all those terrible sins, so they can to.

I knew the Lord Jesus when I was younger, our Mom would bring my sisters and I to Church. It was during one of those times at Church I memorized John 3:16.

John 3:16 (“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”) John 3:16

Some storms (trials) came up. Our family fell apart due to various reasons. I believe the main reason was, Jesus was not the center of our life. Our Mom moved out with our older sisters. My sister Cindy and I would spend the weekend with family friends. They told us about Jesus, how He died for our sins so that we could be forgiven through Him. She told us how Jesus healed the sick, cast out demons, and how He brought people back to life. We loved Jesus and we loved hearing about Him. She used to bring us to church. I loved and adored Jesus. I was not ashamed of Him. My Sister Cindy and I would run around our neighbor’s yard yelling out in proud adoration that we were Christians. When I was around 10 years old I wanted to get baptized. I met with the Pastor of the Church and He asked me questions about Jesus and Salvation. I answered his questions to the best of my knowledge, but he didn’t feel I was ready for baptism because of my lack of knowledge about salvation through Jesus.

My sister Cindy and I moved out shortly after our mom left with our older sisters. We moved in with our Mom for a couple years, things didn’t work out. Cindy and I ended up homeless on the street. We tried to find a place to live, due to various reasons we were not able to find anywhere to live. I was between the ages of 14-16. My sister Cindy was between the ages of 13-15. We were devastated, our life completely changed in the blink of an eye. We lived in a beautiful house in the country in the interior of British Columbia. We had beautiful friends that were closer than family, and like Job in a day it was all gone. I couldn’t cope with what I was going through. I started drinking and using drugs. My desire when I was little was to please God and Jesus. I wanted to be a vessel that the Lord would work through, but when everything crumbled, and I was living in sin. I didn’t think the Lord could ever use me. I thought that was it, I thought I could never be forgiven; I thought I would suffer for eternity in eternal fire. I quit praying and reading my Bible, because I felt guilty for all the sin I had committed. I thought if I hid from Him, He couldn’t see what I was doing. I know now there are no secrets with God, He knows everything.

Luke 12:2 (“But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed and hidden that will not be known.”) Luke 12:2

I would only pray when I was in danger. When I would pray and ask the Lord to protect me and keep me safe. He answered my prayer, He protected me, He kept me safe.

Hebrew 13:5 (“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,”)Hebrew 13:5

I was so thankful the Lord heard my prayer and kept me safe, but I felt so guilty for all the sin. I didn’t want God and Jesus to see all the terrible things I was doing, and had done. I turned away from the Lord; I tried to hide from Him. In so doing I started to forget about God and Jesus love for us. How Jesus died on the cross for our sins so we could be saved through Him, and then He was raised on the third day, ascended into heaven, and is enthroned at the right hand of God, where He intercedes for us. I thought of the Scripture I memorized in Sunday school daily, John 3:16, but I didn’t comprehend what I read. I didn’t understand the sacrifice of Jesus the Son of God. Salvation through Jesus seemed to easy.

In November of 1995, I was in despair and my life was a total mess. I was in an attic in a rooming house in downtown Edmonton, Alberta. The room was unfurnished; the only thing in the room was a cot and a crochet blanket. I was laying on the cot thinking about my life. It was cold and the crochet blanket was not keeping me warm. I was laying on the cot looking out the window. I could see a huge tree out front, the sky, and a jail in the distance. I thought about my life, and I thought about eternal life. I prayed to God, and I said I was sorry for all the sins I had committed. I remembered that we are told to ask for things in Jesus name.

John 14:12-14 (“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.”) John 14:12-14

I asked God for a man I could spend the rest of my life with. I asked for specific things I wanted my Husband to be like. I made a promise to God, I said if he brought this man into my life I would get off of the street and serve the Lord Jesus. I also said if He answered my prayer and I didn’t get off of the street He could take my life. I asked for these things in Jesus name. Shortly after I met the man I have been with for the past 29 years. The Lord has blessed us with three Children Austin, Cindy, Josiah, & 4 grand children. They are all very sweet and unique, and I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for them, what He calls them to. I have been so blessed with my three children, my life has been so blessed with them. They are the sweetest children in the whole world, and I am so glad God and His Son Jesus blessed me with them. God and Jesus knew exactly what I needed when they blessed me with them. They bring joy and laughter to my life. It is such a sweet blessing to have sweet children and little grand children to love and adore. Watching little children and grandchildren grow and blossom into adults is such a blessing.

Isaiah 30:18-24 (“Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him. O people in Zion, inhabitant in Jerusalem, you will weep no longer. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you. Although the Lord has given you bread of privation and water of oppression, He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher. Your ears will hear a word behind you, this is the way, walk in it, whenever you turn to the right or to the left. And you will defile your graven images overlaid with silver, and your molten images plated with gold. You will scatter them as an impure thing, and say to them, be gone! Then He will give you rain for the seed which you will sow in the ground, and bread from the yield of the ground, and it will be rich and plenteous; on that day your livestock will graze in a roomy pasture. Also the oxen and the donkeys which work the ground will eat salted fodder, which has been winnowed with shovel and fork.”) Isaiah 30:18-24

Jeremiah 33:2-3 (“Thus says the LORD who made the earth, the LORD who formed it to establish it, the LORD is His name, Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.”) Jeremiah 33:2-3

On July 17, 1996 my sister Cindy passed away. It was really difficult for me. I felt a lot of guilt and depression. I felt a deep physical pain in my chest from the grief. I didn’t think I was going to be able to get through it, I was in shock. I couldn’t believe she was gone; it was so hard to think I would never see her again. We were so close; all we had was each other. We grew close together when our mom moved out when we were younger. We grew even closer together when we ended up homeless. When I received the news she passed away, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t accept she was gone. I was in shock. I called the police to confirm she passed away. The Police confirmed my fears, but I still couldn’t accept she was gone. I wondered if they had the right person, if it was my Sister they found. I was in complete and total disbelief. I didn’t want to live, I was in such despair. I wanted the people who never helped her to be brought to justice. I called the Police trying to find a way to bring justice for her. The Police got to know me in the first few days I called. The Police officer I spoke with transferred me to another Police officer I could speak with, I explained the situation. He listened, he was very kind. He told me about a similar situation he went through with a friend of his who passed away. He told me it didn’t matter what I tried to do she is never going to come back. It was at that point when he said that to me the shock left me, and I accepted she was gone. Her funeral was coming up and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to go. I didn’t know if I could handle seeing her laying in the coffin. I knew if I didn’t I would struggle with believing she was gone. I went and spoke with a doctor about it, he said if you need to see her in the coffin to believe she is gone then you should go. He prescribed me adivan, it was such a blessing to have the adivan it took the anxiety/fear away instantly. I went to see her as she lay in the coffin, I kissed her cheek. I was glad I went to see her, I had closure. The Lord blessed me with a baby. I was three months pregnant with our oldest son Austin and I knew he needed me. I knew I needed to carry on for him. I was thinking about baby names when my sister Cindy was alive. Austin was the name she was going to name her son, I put it on the list of names as we spoke while she was alive. I named him Austin for Cindy my sister. I contemplated suicide but I couldn’t take my sons life. I spoke with Therese who taught us about Jesus when we were younger. She told me to call a Pastor and ask him for a Bible. I called a Pastor and asked him for a Bible. He came to my apartment and brought me a Bible. I asked him how long the pain would last? I had a physical pain in my chest, he said he didn’t know, it’s different for everyone. I thanked him for the Bible, he left. I opened the Bible and started to read. I cried out to the Lord Jesus, I asked Him to take the pain away, He heard my prayer and answered it, but I didn’t continue reading His word. Her passing away, forced me to think of eternal life. I thought of it all the time, I wondered where my sister’s eternal home was. I spent the next eight years addicted to alcohol. I also suffered from panic attacks, so I took anti anxiety pills.

I dreamt of my Sister Cindy often, but every time I dreamt of her she would never speak to me. That really troubled me, I wondered why she wouldn’t. Then one night I had the most beautiful dream. I dreamt I was at the house we spent beautiful years together in. I was standing on the driveway in the front yard. There was a little girl with pony tails beside me. I heard the sound of a river to the right side of me. I walked over to the tree line. As I walked over I saw a raging river with huge boulders on both sides of the river. I was standing on the rocks, and I could hear the river flowing. I looked down the river and to the side of the river sitting on the boulders was my younger sister Cindy. I walked up to her and she spoke to me. She told me that I needed to move on. That’s all that I can remember from our conversation. I assumed that, that was the reason the Lord willed that she never spoke to me in previous dreams, so that when I dreamt of her then it would be so special and memorable. I didn’t have a daughter at the time of that dream, but I know that the little girl beside me in the dream was probably my daughter. I knew I had to move on, and let my Sister Cindy go.

After the Christmas of 2004 in the beginning of 2005 our marriage was suffering. We decided to work out our marriage. I sought the Lord. When we would drive by a Church in the area by our house. I would look and see everyone outside getting into their vehicles. They looked so happy and at peace. I thought I would like to be a part of that Church. The Pastor told us during one of our Baptism meetings that they had been praying that people would look at them and want to be a part of their Church.

1 Peter 3:12 ("FOR THE EYES OF THE LORD ARE TOWARD THE RIGHTEOUS, AND HIS EARS ATTEND TO THEIR PRAYER, BUT THE FACE OF THE LORD IS AGAINST THOSE WHO DO EVIL.") 1 Peter 3:12

On Easter Sunday of March 2005 we decided to go to church. It was so nice to be back in Church. While we were singing I could see what looked like fog/clouds in the open ceiling. It was so nice to feel the presence of the Lord, I did not want to leave. As we were leaving the pastor came and met us at the door, he invited us to come back, we were a bit hesitant. We weren’t sure if we would be going back. The Pastor called us in the middle of the week inviting us back. We also received a letter inviting us back, so we decided to go back. We started to meet with the Pastor for baptism classes, and then we committed our lives to the Lord Jesus. The Pastor said the Salvation Prayer for us. We prayed along with him. While we were praying I kept thinking of all the sins I had committed. In my heart I didn’t confess all of my sins to God. I hoped that He couldn’t see all of my sin. I didn’t believe all my sins would be forgiven. I kept that to myself, I didn’t confess all my sins to God and Jesus. I didn’t confess the worst sins in my life because I was worried I wouldn’t be forgiven for those sins. The Pastor asked us how it felt to be chosen. Those words stuck in my mind, I later read.

John 15:16 ("You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.”) John 15:16

I kept reading my bible hoping to find forgiveness. I wasn’t sure if I was going to, but I didn’t want to give up. When I left that Church, I read my Bible from the moment I woke up, to the moment I went to bed, with the exception of my daily tasks. A couple of months later I realized through reading God’s word that there are no secrets. There is nothing we can hide from Him, nothing is hidden, He knows everything.

Luke 12:2 ("But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.”) Luke 12:2

Psalm 44:21 Would not God find this out?
For He knows the secrets of the heart. Psalm 44:21

So I confessed to God the worst sins I had previously hoped God and Jesus couldn’t see, and asked for forgiveness through Jesus the Son of God. At the end of my Prayer, I prayed the Lord`s prayer. When I prayed the Lord’s prayer, I heard a multitude of voices praying with me. I stopped during my prayer to hear the voices praying with me. There were to many to count. It was a multitude of voices. After I had finished praying I looked through the New Testament. I wanted to see if I could find where it would say something about what I had experienced during that prayer. Then I came across a few versus that I had avoided reading out of fear. When I had read the versus the Lord Jesus spoke to me through His word I felt forgiven. I immediately felt forgiven; I felt the weight of all the sin, and guilt gone. I have found amazing love, forgiveness, and freedom through Jesus.

Luke 15:4-10 ("What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!' I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. Or what woman, if she has ten silver coins and loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin which I had lost!' In the same way, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.") Luke 15:4-10

We find forgiveness through God’s Son Jesus. That’s why Jesus died on the cross so that we can be forgiven through Him, and then He was raised on the third day; He ascended into heaven, and is enthroned at the right hand of God, where He intercedes for us. Sin separates us from God, but we are reconciled to God through His Son Jesus Christ.

1 Peter 2:24-25 (“And He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.”) 1 Peter 2:24-25

Over the past 14 years the Lord Jesus has shown me so much. The Lord has brought peace and joy into our lives. I felt so much shame for all the sin I had committed. Then one night I had a dream about Jesus. I was sitting at a desk/table and there was a big book lying open in front of me. Jesus was standing behind me and He reached His covered arm around the right side of me and was pointing at the book, He said to me those things came upon you to see how much you love Me. I no longer feel all that anger, shame, guilt or pain from my past. I thought I had forgiven people from my heart, but with this experience of hearing people on the earth and in Heaven, I realize I haven’t forgiven everyone. I am praying about it that I forgive people from my heart because if we don’t forgive, we wont be forgiven. I do feel I am closer to forgiving people.

The Lord Jesus has provided me with the strength to quit drinking. I suffered from an alcohol addiction for a lot of years. I tried to quit drinking many times, and I wasn’t able to. After I had accepted Jesus into my life as my personal Lord and Savior, I had been drinking. I had around 2 or 3 drinks. I didn’t feel right drinking. I went to lay down, I fell asleep. When I woke up the next day, I felt I didn’t want to drink anymore. I called my Husband at work. I told him I didn’t want to drink anymore. I told him I wanted to pour the alcohol into the toilet. He agreed, I poured out the alcohol. I never drank again, and I have no desire to drink. The Lord Jesus has set me free from that addiction.

I also suffered from a tobacco addiction. The Lord put it in my heart to quit smoking, I tried to quit smoking a few times in the past, and I was unsuccessful. I had a lot of fears about quitting. I tried to cut down by smoking a cigarette every 10 minutes, and then I tried to cut down by spacing the cigarettes out by every 15 minutes, then 20 minutes apart. I slowed down to smoking a cigarette every 45 minutes. It was then that I felt some physical attacks. I had a lot of fears. I started smoking as many cigarettes as I had been before I tried to quit. Then one night shortly after I started smoking heavy again, I was asleep. I woke up by hearing a loud voice saying to me, “stop smoking.”

Job 37:5 ("God thunders with His voice wondrously, Doing great things which we cannot comprehend.) Job 37:5

I woke up and my body was completely on top of my husband’s body. He woke up, and we heard very loud thunder. My Husband commented on how loud the thunder was. I sat at the edge of the bed for a few minutes, and then I got up and went downstairs. I didn’t tell him what I heard until later. I wasn’t sure he would believe me. I also didn’t know if I would be able to quit smoking. I started trying to quit smoking again. I had a lot of fears. I was watching a sermon over the internet and the Pastor Leon Fontaine had said if there was anyone with a spirit of fear to stand up, and he would cast out the spirit of fear in Jesus name. I stood up in my living room as a step of faith. The Pastor cast out the spirit of fear in Jesus name. After he cast out the spirit of fear, I felt the fear was gone. I continued cutting down on cigarettes. I felt a lot of physical attacks. At times I felt I couldn’t breathe. I would pray and ask the Lord Jesus to help me to breathe, I asked Jesus to heal my body. He would answer my prayer and I was able to breathe. Every time I felt a craving for a cigarette. I would pray and ask the Lord Jesus to help the craving to go away; I would ask Jesus to help me quit smoking. Jesus helped me. I continued cutting down, I cut down to having a cigarette every 7 hours. It was then that I wondered how I would be able to cut down anymore. Later that night I fell asleep, I had a dream. In my dream I was told that there are Angels watching over me. I woke up, after that I didn’t smoke anymore. I knew that the Lord Jesus was watching over me and keeping me safe, and healing me. I knew His Angels are watching over me.

Psalms 91:1-16 (“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust! For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. You will not be afraid of the terror by night, or of the arrow that flies by day; of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not approach you. You will only look on with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. For you have made the LORD, my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place. No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent. For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and cobra, the young lion and the serpent you will trample down. Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation.") Psalms 91:1-16

The Lord Jesus has set me free from that terrible addiction.

John 8:34-36 (“Jesus answered them, truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son does remain forever. So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.”) John 8:34-36

I suffered from panic attacks, the Lord Jesus has carried those away.

Matthew 8:14-17 (“When Jesus came into Peter's home, He saw his mother-in-law lying sick in bed with a fever. He touched her hand, and the fever left her; and she got up and waited on Him. When evening came, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed; and He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were ill. This was to fulfill what was spoken through Isaiah the prophet: HE HIMSELF TOOK OUR INFIRMITIES AND CARRIED AWAY OUR DISEASES.") Matthew 8:14-17

I suffered from an affliction that I wasn’t able to find any medicine to treat it. My doctor kept giving different, stronger doses. He tried different medications; the medicine was not taking away the affliction. I know that the Lord Jesus is my healer, so I quit taking the medicine. I asked the Lord Jesus to heal me. I kept reading through the promises of God. I spoke to the mountain and told it to move.

Mark 11:22-26 (“And Jesus answered saying to them, Have faith in God. Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him. Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you. Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. [But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions."] ”) Mark 11:22-26

Luke 1:37 ("For nothing will be impossible with God.") Luke 1:37

The Lord also healed me of that affliction.

I feel His love; I can see the sacrifice He made for us. I was baptized on May 18 of 2008. There have been so many blessings over the years, but most of all the forgiveness I have found through Jesus. I was always afraid over the years to go to church, or to read my bible, because I thought I would be convicted and then read about my punishment, but I have found love, joy, peace, and forgiveness. Now I want everyone to know about Jesus, He loves you, He died on the cross for you so that you could be forgiven through Him, HE WAS BURIED, He was RAISED ON THE THIRD DAY, He ascended into heaven, and HE Is enthroned at the right hand of God, WHERE HE INTERCEDES FOR US.

1 Corinthians 15:24-25 (“Then comes the end, when He hands over the kingdom to the God and Father, when He has abolished all rule and all authority and power. For He must reign until He has put all His enemies under His feet.”) 1 Corinthians 15:24-25

John 3:16 ("For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”) John 3:16

After I came back to God and Jesus before I read God’s word I would pray and say, Lord Jesus I belong to you now. When I read Your word, please help me to understand what I read, remember what I read. Please speak to me through Your word. Please help me to apply what I read to my life, please help me to not be easily distracted from Your word.

John 14:8-14 (“Philip said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.” Jesus said to him, “Have I been so long with you, and yet you have not come to know Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works. Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.”) John 14:8-14

Luke 11:5-10 (“Then He said to them, Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, 'Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him'; and from inside he answers and says, 'Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.' I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened.”) Luke 11:5-10

Now before I pray I say “Speak to me God and Jesus for Your servant is listening.” Like Eli told Samuel to do when Eli perceived God was calling Samuel.

1 Samuel 3:1-11 Now the boy Samuel was ministering to the LORD before Eli. And word from the LORD was rare in those days, visions were infrequent. It happened at that time as Eli was lying down in his place (now his eyesight had begun to grow dim and he could not see well),and the lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple of the LORD where the ark of God was, that the LORD called Samuel; and he said, “Here I am.” Then he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” But he said, “I did not call, lie down again.” So he went and lay down. The LORD called yet again, “Samuel!” So Samuel arose and went to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” But he answered, “I did not call, my son, lie down again.” Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD, nor had the word of the LORD yet been revealed to him. So the LORD called Samuel again for the third time. And he arose and went to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” Then Eli discerned that the LORD was calling the boy. And Eli said to Samuel, “Go lie down, and it shall be if He calls you, that you shall say, ‘Speak, LORD, for Your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. Then the LORD came and stood and called as at other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” And Samuel said, “Speak, for Your servant is listening.” The LORD said to Samuel, “Behold, I am about to do a thing in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle. 1 Samuel 3:1-11

I thought I had to change before I came to Jesus, but you don’t. He loves you, and you can come just as you are. He will change you, He will heal your brokenness. I know he has changed me, He has made me a better person; He has filled that empty void, and taken away all that painful sin.

I can see that Jesus has always been there, He's never left. I look back at so many situations that could have turned out much worse, but they didn’t because the Lord Jesus was right there.

Hebrew 13:5-6 (“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU, so that we confidently say, THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?") Hebrew 13:5-6

My daughter and I started fasting. We would have a fast of no food just water. We started by doing this for a small number of hours maybe up to half a day, then increased the time as we fasted. We had been doing this, having short fasts over a period of time weeks to months I can’t remember how long. Then one day we were at the grocery store and my youngest son and daughter came out of the grocery store and times before my son would pretend he was choking. This time I realized he wasn’t. I yelled at them to get out of the vehicle. I also home schooled my children and my daughter had been learning first aid through books. She learned how to do the Heimlich maneuver. We were at the back of the vehicle at the front of the store to the right side of the entrance. My son was choking, and I panicked, I tried to call 911 before I got out but I couldn’t open the cell phone so I got out. He was at the back of the vehicle my daughter was with him and I was calling out for help. I thought maybe there could be a doctor or nurse in the parking lot, a crowd started to form. My daughter at some point started to lift my son with her arms around his body with his face away from her. I was watching and at some point I started to pray out loud, and as my sons face started to turn blue, I closed my eyes with my hand or hands touching him, while my daughter continued the Heimlich remover. I was praying and asking the Lord to help him breath and not to take my son, I asked in Jesus name. then I hear a sound and him breath. I thanked God and Jesus and an east Indian man touched my shoulder I turned around and looked at him, he didn’t say anything. We got into our vehicle and drove away, I was so thankful God and Jesus never took my son.

I hope that you come to know the Lord Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior.

The Lord Jesus has healed me and brought me so much joy and peace. I seen my older sister at a store, on the day that my little sister passed away years before. I had forgotten that that was the day she passed away, I didn’t grieve up to the day, like I did previous years. The Lord Jesus gave me peace. Later that night I had been thinking about seeing my oldest Sister. It was then that I realized what day it was. I was filled with grief; I went downstairs and looked out my back window. There was a beautiful pink sunset. I was emotional, I started to cry. As I was looking out the window I wondered if my Sister Cindy was suffering. I wondered if she was in Heaven or hell. The thought of her suffering really troubled me. I was thinking about eternal life and about Jesus at the right hand of God. At that moment there was a song playing on the radio. The Lord helped me to hear it. The song playing on the radio was, “I wish you were here,” sung by Mark Harris. It was so beautiful like the Lord Jesus was telling me she is in Heaven. I felt such amazing peace. It has been so amazing coming to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and God as my Father.

The Lord Jesus has provided for our needs.

Luke 12:22-31 (“And He said to His disciples, for this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life's span? If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters? "Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith! And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying. For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you. Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.”) Luke 12:22-32

Hebrews13:5-6 (“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU, so that we confidently say, THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?") Hebrews13:5-6

The Lord has given me the desires of my heart.

Psalm 37:4 (“Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.”) Psalm 37:4

My Mom passed away on Dec 3, 2014. Before she passed away, I was blessed with spending time with her. We spent many nights up late talking about the past and about Jesus. I had the honour of speaking to her about Jesus and salvation; she confessed her sins and committed her life to the Lord Jesus. The Lord Jesus blessed our time together baking, sewing and crocheting. I have peace knowing she is safe in the arms of Jesus, resting in peace with her daughter Cindy. She was so excited to hear of the works that Jesus was putting in my heart to do, and she was eager to help. She gave selflessly out of what little she had to help with the works of the Lord Jesus.

Mark 12:41-44 (“And He sat down opposite the treasury, and began observing how the people were putting money into the treasury; and many rich people were putting in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent. Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, "Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on.") Mark 12:41-44

My Mom encouraged me to publish the Scripture book and homemakers journal. She also got to know about the name I felt God and Jesus have given me. As I read through the word of God, I read how Saul was renamed Paul, Simon to Peter. Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, Jacob to Israel, I wanted a new Christian/ Hebrew name. Also because I had changed and I wasn’t who I used to be and I didn’t want to be that person again. I felt that I would know when God and Jesus would give me a new name. Years went by as I read through the word of God. Then I had been seeking a Church that would baptize my children but they felt they were to young. So I instructed them about baptism and they believe Jesus is the Son of God, so I dedicate my 3 children to the Lord as I was reading to them about Hannah dedicating Samuel to the Lord, I felt God and Jesus gave me the name Hannah. I baptized my 2 older children in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit in our backyard pool.

The Lord Jesus has also restored the relationship I have with my Dad.

We still pass through storms (trials), but the Lord Jesus is always with us, He will never leave us or forsake us.

Jesus is the solid rock on which we stand.

Luke 6:46-49 ("Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.") Luke 6:46-49

The Lord Jesus gives us our strength.

Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”) Philippians 4:13

We are told that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of Heaven.

Acts 14:22 (Strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying, "Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.") Acts 14:22

The storms (trials) come and go, and the Lord Jesus helps us through them.

I have also found that when you come through the storms (trials) there are beautiful things that come out of the storms (trials). Like the Scripture books, cards, and bookmarks. You may also see areas in your life that need to change. Then you repent, confess your sin, and ask the Lord Jesus to help you to change.

On Tuesday December 3, 2013 My Husband and I were driving with our three Children. There was heavy snow falling. The roads were covered in snow. A tanker semi was going to be merging onto the road beside us. The truck driver was travelling fairly fast. I accelerated to try and get ahead of the semi. When I had accelerated we started to slide on the ice. The back tail of our vehicle started to fish tail in the lane we were traveling in. We were driving parallel to the cement meridian and semi, but the semi was still behind us. We were going to collide with the cement meridian. I over corrected my steering, and our vehicle turned sideways in our lane. We started sliding towards the semi. When we started sliding towards the semi. I thought we were going to perish or be seriously injured. I started hearing the most beautiful singing it sounded like a multitude of voices and stringed instruments playing. It was very beautiful; it was fairly hard to hear. I had to listen fairly hard to hear the singing. I could not make out the words that were being sung. I was so afraid, I thought we were going to die. A greater fear I had was that we would be injured. I feared I would hear the terrifying screams of my family. I confessed my sins, and I said sorry for my family’s sins. I was sure we were going to perish. When we were travelling towards the semi everything started to move in slow motion. We slid past the front end of the truck. The front end of our SUV on the passenger side bounced off the jack at the side of the semi. I yelled out asking if everyone was okay. It took them a few seconds to answer me, and then they said yes. I feared that another vehicle would hit the side of our vehicle. Thankfully that didn’t happen. The semi driver got out of the truck and walked back towards our vehicle with a look of fear, he feared we were injured. He asked if we were okay, we told him we were okay. We turned off our vehicle Gerry and Austin looked over the damage. The front bumper and hood on the passenger side was damaged. Radiator liquid was spraying out. We were able to start our vehicle. We pulled our vehicle in front of the semi. We waited for the RCMP to arrive. A medic who was off duty at the time pulled up and asked us if we were okay. He asked if we were hurt and if we needed medical attention. We told him we were okay, he left. At that time I didn’t feel any pain, but my legs did feel a bit different when I got out of the vehicle to speak with the driver of the semi truck. I can only assume I didn’t feel pain at that point because I was in shock. We were so thankful to be alive. I thanked God and Jesus that we were alive. I was thankful that God, Jesus, and their Holy Angels are watching over us. The next day after the accident my Daughter started telling me how she heard the most beautiful singing and stringed instruments playing during the accident. My youngest son said he also heard the singing and stringed instruments during the accident. They heard the singing at the same time I heard it. When we turned sideways and started sliding towards the Semi. I told them that I also heard the singing and the instruments playing, but none of us were able to make out the words being sung. There are Angels watching over us, the semi stopped almost instantly. I didn’t see it stopping but I know how far it traveled, and for that amount of distance and the speed he was traveling, It’s a miracle from God and Jesus that the truck stopped. The RCMP officer told us that if our vehicle had slid in front of the semi truck we would have started to roll continuously. If that had happened we would have perished or been seriously injured. We also could have blown up since it was a gas tanker, or been seriously injured. God and Jesus kept us safe, we are all thankful to be alive and healthy praise Jesus.Psalm 91 (“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!" For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. You will not be afraid of the terror by night, or of the arrow that flies by day; of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not approach you. You will only look on with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. For you have made the LORD, my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place. No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent. For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and cobra, the young lion and the serpent you will trample down. "Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation.") Psalm 91 I am so thankful to be alive, I love and adore Jesus, and I need to be more like Him. I need to spend more time with Him, reading His word, and seeking Him. He is so loving, kind, and merciful. We are so blessed to have such an amazing loving Savior and such a loving Heavenly Father who watch over us with Their Holy Angels. I love my Family so much and I am so thankful they are all alive and uninjured Praise Jesus. The Lord put it into my heart to start a new chapter of the Scripture book. It is about God and Jesus and Their Angels watching over us. The chapter was completed after the accident and there were many attacks from the enemy during the making of the chapter of this Scripture book, But the Lord’s will be done, it is now complete. I was injured during the accident. I suffered a back injury. I was only able to stand for short periods of time, and I had an ache in my back that was constant like a tooth ache that never went away. The muscles in my back would tense up and I would have to stretch them out. I read and believed and preached to others that the Lord Jesus is our Healer.1 Peter 2:24-25 (“And He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.”) 1 Peter 2:24-25 I trusted Jesus for a complete and total healing. I had fears through the years of my back getting worse or not healing, fears of being in a wheelchair. I knew that that was the enemy attacking my thoughts. I believed that the Lord Jesus would heal my body. I prayed and asked the Lord to heal my body and take the pain away. It’s been 6 years and my back is much better. I am able to do more, there is less pain, my faith has increased. At first I wanted healing right away, but now I am thankful I wasn’t healed right away because my faith has increased.Romans 8:28-39 (“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, "FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED." But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”) Romans 8:28-39 I had the most beautiful dream a few months ago. In my dream I told someone that Angels are watching over us. As I was looking up at a bright blue sky, I started seeing Angels appearing in the sky. I did not see any form. I saw large oval shapes the color of firelight. I knew they were Angels being revealed to me. They were appearing in different parts of the sky. They were fairly large and someone in my dream told me to look over by me, but I didn’t, and at that point I woke up. Job 33:13-18 ("Why do you complain against Him that He does not give an account of all His doings? Indeed God speaks once, or twice, yet no one notices it. In a dream, a vision of the night, When sound sleep falls on men, while they slumber in their beds, Then He opens the ears of men, And seals their instruction, That He may turn man aside from his conduct, And keep man from pride; He keeps back his soul from the pit, And his life from passing over into Sheol.”) Job 33:13-18 Things have been tough through the years, honestly, I thought things would get easier serving God and Jesus. Honestly things have been really tough for a long time. Just the struggle of having basic needs met like rent paid, water services, electricity, food, have been extremely tough. I feel there have been many years of trials/testing. I don’t want to get into the details of everything, but what I will say is things have been very tough. I pray and ask, and beg God and Jesus for strength, and that they don’t let me go, that they hang onto me, and don’t let me walk away, or fall away. God and Jesus have been extremely faithful and merciful, and gracious, and have been fighting for my soul, Their Angels are watching over us. I needed work and I went into a place that I was told it was possible there was asbestos in the place. The guy who hired us told us it is expensive to test for asbestos said he could only test one wall. The place was being completely renovated. At first I just did what I had to do. I went in because we needed the money at that time we were in a hotel charging $100 per night. When the job ended as time passed by I started to worry more about if there were asbestos inside the building and what that could mean for me and people around me that could have been exposed to it. I was told a speck of asbestos could cause cancer. It bothered me so much I was considering taking my life, no one knew that but me God and Jesus and the devil. There came a point about 4 years ago when I was wanting to take my life, and I was considering turning away from God and Jesus. Things had been really tough for a long time and I was ready to give up. I wanted a change, so I thought I would change things. God and Jesus knew this and also the devil. The devil had been trying to tempt me, but I resisted him. Then he came in voices that I couldn’t escape. I started hearing these plots against my life and different ways my family could be hurt. I didn’t know what I was hearing but I knew of a prophet in the old testament who heard what an opposing king said in his bedroom so I thought it could be possible I was hearing people on the earth. I was hearing tempting things, lusting, threats, mockings. I don’t understand all of it but what I do know is I am being tempted and tested. It was terrifying and tormenting, I heard the voices from when I woke to when I went to sleep and when I would wake up in the middle night. What I heard was like a movie, it was different characters and plots that would be played out day and night. I didn’t know who I was hearing, to me it sounded like Police and a social worker. One day, I heard its time for another test, I didn’t know what that meant. Then I heard the woman say she is going to get a hole in the face. When I was out doing Ministry work I seen someone with a hole in the face and it terrified me, the devil knew that scared me. At that time I was unsure about a lot of things,what was ok, and what wasn’t ok, like for instance likeness, what is a likeness? A tooth, I will come back to likenesses later in this writing. I was terrified and I thought ok if that’s God and Jesus will that I get a hole in the face. I put my hands up in my living room and I started singing praise to God and Jesus. I said to Him something like it cant remember my exact words, I will love you and serve you. Then as I listened to them they said I didn’t need a hole in the face. But over and over I kept hearing she needs a hole in the face. I never stopped falling for that one until I seen the face beside Jesus face which I think and hope is how they will bless me. They talked about it being in my body in different parts they never specified what. I assumed asbestos or cancer. They talked about having to remove my teeth, its in my hair, in my ears, my voice box, my eyes, my nose, my lungs, fingers, legs, knees etc… I was terrified, because I was unsure about likenesses at the time I thought ok id walk around with a veil covering my face, to hide everything. But thank God and Jesus that will never happen. But it was a test and I still remained faithful to God and Jesus through that. When you hear stuff like that you don’t think what you will do. Thoughts race through your mind and you sort them as you go. I remained faithful to God and Jesus in my heart. There were times I was so afraid, I thought because my heart was beating so fast for so long I would have a heart attack or stroke, thankfully that never happened. I didn’t know how the authorities felt about people hearing voices, my family knew I was hearing people they didn’t know what was going on, they thought I was having a mental breakdown. I didn’t want them to keep knowing I was still hearing the voices because I didn’t want to be put into a mental hospital. I was terrified of getting put into a mental hospital. I suffered in silence, with only God and Jesus knowing what I was going through. It was so tormenting at one point I was trying to blow out my eardrums but I had on blasted earphones and I could still hear the voices, so I didn’t blow out me ear drums because I thought I would still hear them anyways. There were voices I heard of people on the earth. I started to realize that I was hearing the devil and demons and they were lying. But even though I knew that I got deceived over and over because the devil is a deceiver. Through this time I was trying to do everything right and trying to right every wrong because I wanted it to stop, but it never did. As I kept walking with God and Jesus through this trial/test. I asked them for strength and I tried to resist the devil and do right. We moved and I hoped it would end and it didn’t. I had enough, I wanted it to end, so I thought I would kneel and pray with my hands up until God and Jesus brought what I was going through to and end. I thought I would hold my hands up like moses when they fought against the Amalekites until God and Jesus delivered me from what I was going through.I was going through such an intense storm, I needed a breakthrough. I decided I would pray until I had a breakthrough, I had been in prayer for months and days and then in recent days I was praying, and praising the Lord Jesus through song. I thought of Moses when they fought against the Amalekites.Exodus 17:8-16 (“Then Amalek came and fought against Israel at Rephidim. So Moses said to Joshua, "Choose men for us and go out, fight against Amalek. Tomorrow I will station myself on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand." Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought against Amalek; and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set. So Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword. Then the LORD said to Moses, "Write this in a book as a memorial and recite it to Joshua, that I will utterly blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven." Moses built an altar and named it The LORD is My Banner; and he said, "The LORD has sworn; the LORD will have war against Amalek from generation to generation.") Exodus 17:8-16 I knew I needed to lift my hands in prayer as I had been doing for the past few days. I told my daughter all that Jesus put in my heart to do. I asked her to hold my hands up when they dropped, and then when I had strength I would hold my hands up. I prayed, and when my arms became weak and started to drop she held my arms up and as she did that, I seen a oval shape the color of firelight moving my direction in the sky. I knew it was Jesus, I knew I wasn’t ready to see Him, so I closed my eyes, and I started to confess every sin I could think of. When I felt I had confessed every sin I could think of I opened my eyes and looked back at Heaven. (I was also looking at Heaven because I was in constant verbal assault from the devil and demons. They were accusing me, lying, saying I was praying to the devil. The voice of the devil would move around me, in all directions. So I opened my eyes to Heaven and I was praying to God and Jesus as I looked to heaven.) When I did, I seen the oval shape the color of fire appear again. As I looked the bottom of it started opening up and I could see two rectangular shapes, which was the throne of God, and Jesus Throne at the right hand of the throne of God. The throne at the right hand in Heaven had a white light above it and in front of it. At first as I was looking I thought it was God. As I was looking, it was revealed to me that It was Jesus standing at His throne, at the right hand of God. As I kept looking at Their thrones. I seen in front of them which would have been between me and them two Angels they were standing facing each other. They didn’t block the view of Their thrones. I stared at the Angels, they had their wings folded down to their sides. I could see feathers in their wings. They stood facing each other and they didn’t move. Then Heaven closed, then I seen the oval shape which was the color of firelight. As I had been gazing into heaven I couldn’t see God and Jesus face. I was really hoping I could see them, so when Heaven closed the oval shape the color of fire turned into the face of Jesus. He had the crown of thorns on His head. The thorns were about id say one and a half to two inches long, the base of the thorn was about 1 inch to two inch wide with a long taper to the pointy end. His left eye was not in the socket and there were no eyelids either on the left eye. I saw an empty eye socket. His Jaw was moved to the left side of His face. He was missing teeth and teeth were out of place. His hair was clumped together like how it would look when you see blood drip through the hair. Even with all this affecting His appearance I could see that Jesus is very handsome. His hair was all one length curly to I think above the shoulder, I didn’t see His shoulders only His face. His face moved in an eastward direction and then I couldn’t see Him anymore. As His face was before me in the sky I seen a face beside Jesus face to the right of Him. It was the most perfect nose I had ever seen in my life. And youthful skin on the cheeks beside the nose. I think God and Jesus may have been showing me how They can bless me if I stay faithful, and that I wont get a hole in the face. Acts 7:54-60 (“Now when they heard this, they were cut to the quick, and they began gnashing their teeth at him. But being full of the Holy Spirit, he gazed intently into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God; and he said, "Behold, I see the heavens opened up and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God." But they cried out with a loud voice, and covered their ears and rushed at him with one impulse. When they had driven him out of the city, they began stoning him; and the witnesses laid aside their robes at the feet of a young man named Saul. They went on stoning Stephen as he called on the Lord and said, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!" Then falling on his knees, he cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them!" Having said this, he fell asleep.”) Acts 7:54-60 It says in the word of God Jesus was marred more than any man. Every bone of Jesus was out of joint. Every bone in our body has a joint including our teeth. Imagine how painful that would have been.Isaiah 52:13-15 (“Behold, My servant will prosper, He will be high and lifted up and greatly exalted. Just as many were astonished at you, My people, So His appearance was marred more than any man And His form more than the sons of men. Thus He will sprinkle many nations, Kings will shut their mouths on account of Him; For what had not been told them they will see, And what they had not heard they will understand.”) Isaiah 52:13-15 I was on my way to work one day and on my playlist I had the song Angels among us. I was saying to my Husband how there are Angels among us. Then I was having a really hard time at work that day. And I heard different Angels and then I heard the man my mom was with before she passed away Richard Williams and he said to her “say something,” my mom said “I cant talk right now,” she was trying to talk while crying. It made her cry that I was having a tough time at work. I hear missionaries who have passed away, Jim Elliot and Betty Elliot, Nate Saint and the other missionaries that were in the Amazon, Mincanye, My Sisters, my Grandparents, uncles, aunts, my sisters daughter, Duffy, and other people on the earth. I have had people who have wronged me, and I had unforgiveness in my heart, and I am still struggling with the unforgiveness. Different people as Angels have said sorry to me. Jesus said sorry to me for taking my sister on my baptism birthday May 18, 24, then the next day I looked up my oldest sister and seen an obituary for her. I started to cry and then as I kept reading I read my other sister passed away before her. On my baptism birthday I heard these female Angels, they all wished me a happy birthday. I realized the next day when I read my oldest sisters obituary that my sisters were in Heaven with my mom and younger sister. Then I knew they all wished me a happy birthday the day before. I watched the tuna fishing show and I cared about the people on it, I would pray for them. I heard Duffy passed away and it bothered me. I wondered if he is in Heaven. Then I heard him as an Angel but at first I didn’t recognize him, he didn’t have the same voice. Then I heard him with his voice and they way he spoke on earth. He was shy about talking like that in heaven he said to the other Angels. “ I have to talk like this so she knows its me.” Just recently I was watching this show called, “it’s a miracle” and I was seeing miracles happening and I wondered why Duffy wasn’t saved like the other Scuba divers, I heard him out my window he said, “It was my time.” This is after I heard my two oldest sisters passed away and that help me to accept them being takin by God and Jesus because it was their time, but I still feel like why is it their time? Why did things have to go so bad, for all our life? I heard Toby Macs son sing the part in the song, Home, but not in a sad way in a happy way. I heard him around Duffy and my little sister. My little sister always rapped and danced. I heard the Angels say she looks like tootie (from facts of life). My sisters and I used to watch that show we all would say we were one of the characters. Sin tore our lives apart. We used to play in the bush, climb trees, race, play dolls, fish for minnows, run away from angry dogs and goats with horns. We loved each other. I had a lot of unforgiveness in my heart. I was hearing my two older sisters while I was at work, I thought maybe they were watching me, somewhere close by. Then I was hearing conversations from different people. And in the sky was a cross left by the jet fuel of two planes, that picture is on the website. That’s when I looked up my oldest sister a few days later and found out she and my other sister passed away. I was also hearing my aunt and uncle months before while I was framing a house. I also thought they may have been close by watching, I looked them up on the internet a few days after I found out my sister passed away, and found out they also had passed away. I went through this time of burning a bunch of my personal items, I was hauling loads out to 3-4 fire pits I had burning in my yard. My family was hiding certain items watching me as I was going in and out of our place with stuff I was burning. This was during covid 19 and I was afraid if God and Jesus came back I didn’t know if I should have certain things, so I was burning a lot of my stuff. As I burnt my stuff I sat outside at the fire pits thinking. Thinking about things on the earth whats ok, and whats not. I was burning books, craft making items, clothing. I put my laptop and printer in the fire and I thought if God and Jesus will they will give it back to me if they want me to do the Scripture book. I could hear the Angels in the yard with me. They were all around me, I heard Jesus walking among them and sitting with them. I heard the lady we spent time with in our childhood holding back a demon and telling my sister to get a demon by her, the lady I heard was at the natural gas meter that goes into the house. I hear the Angels and they say bless your life, bless your soul, bless your heart, they bless different parts of my body, Jesus said bless the book which is the Scripture book, God is our Father, Jesus is the Son of God and our Lord and Savior. I heard an Angel say bless the sales of the book, they bless me in different ways. I have been editing the Scripture book, I was unsure of this Scripture if I should leave it in or take it out, Jesus said, “leave it in,” its been such a blessing hearing God and Jesus and the Angels, and also to hear the devil and the demons so that I don’t have to live in worry and so I can pray for them. I have been given two messages from two Angels. I heard someone I know say something, I was talking with someone about that I mentioned what I heard and that person said that could have been said by knowing the circumstances of that night. This has been an amazing miracle and gift that I never want God and Jesus to take from me. Hearing God and Jesus and the Angels and the devil and demons and possibly people on this earth have been probably one of the greatest gifts in my life. Even though some people may think I should be in a mental hospital. I talk with God and Jesus and the Angels all the time. People I know and love are Angels and other family members and other people I care about. God and Jesus and the Angels talk to me and its so comforting and they make me happy, make me laugh, make my heart happy. Through this time I’ve heard the devil and the demons. They change their voices they sound different at times. Sometimes I’ve been scared, angry, they use God and Jesus voice, and the Angels, and possibly people on this earth voices. I started to care about them. One day I heard them about three years ago the devil and demons were using voices of people on this earth trying to scare me and make me jealous. The devil and demons talk like unrighteous people on the earth. I was praying for them and I heard the female demon started to cry and she said she couldn’t hurt me because I was to nice. The devil was comforting her. I felt sorry for them. I don’t want anyone to suffer in the lake of fire or in darkness for eternity. I hope everyone gets to say sorry and go to Heaven. I hear people enter heaven. Some people feel unworthy, others are happy. It sounds like there are animals in Heaven we do not have here. I still hear God and Jesus and the Angels, the devil and demons, and possibly people on this earth. I don’t want to stop hearing God and Jesus and the Angels. This gift has brought me peace.I remembered within the last few years, that when I was younger, I tried to commit suicide. That’s when I think I woke up and a lady was above me doing cpr. I told her don’t stop there’s nothing there. At that time, I was living in sin and I believe I died, I woke up and it was black. I couldn’t see anything, I couldn’t hear anyone, I couldn’t see myself, I didn’t remember my life. I knew something was wrong I said “I’m sorry.” That’s when I believe I woke up with the lady above me doing cpr. The next thing I woke up in the hospital with a security guard beside the bed, he said I couldn’t leave until my mom came to pick me up, I asked if I could go for a smoke he said yes but he would have to go with me. When we walked out I looked in the glass as I walked there was white tape across my forehead. I did things when I drank alcohol that I would never do when I was sober.I mixed two things together and got a chemical reaction that irritated my eyes. Hours after using these two chemicals together I started to see light around the lights, every light glowed. I went to the hospital the doctor said it would clear up in a few days. I still see a bit of streaky light from light at times, at times my vision gets blurred I see double text. I pray about it and trust God and Jesus for total healing of my eyes. I was using a heat mask for my eyes but a dog I know and love chewed it and I keep forgetting to buy a new one. I also put olive oil on my eyes. Olive oil can make your eyes feel like they are burning you keep it on as long as you can then wipe it off. If your vision is getting to blurry stop using the olive oil for a day then use it again. My eyes are healing, big lights, like beside the freeways they looked like huge stars, now the stars are not so big. Thank God and Jesus my vision is healing.After I came to know Jesus and found forgiveness through Him. I wanted to tell people about Jesus, I started to pray and ask for the words to bring to someone who doesn’t know Him as their personal Lord and Savior. He answered my prayer and has produced through me this Scripture book as well as the bookmarks, cards, and provided Holy Bibles and sent me out into His harvest. Through Jesus I found forgiveness of sins and the Lord Jesus has set me free from those addictions, and healed me of the afflictions. The Lord Jesus puts it in my heart to start these scripture books, bookmarks, and cards, He works through me, and these are all produced. There was a time in my life when I didn’t think I would ever find forgiveness. I didn’t think the Lord could ever use me, but by the grace of God through His Son Jesus I have been saved. The Lord Jesus is now at work in me and through me, and He has sent me out into His harvest. He has sent me out to speak to people on the same streets I was homeless on. The Lord Jesus has also opened doors for me to preach to other nations in the world.Romans 11:29 (“For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.”) Romans 11:29 Ephesians 2:4-10 (“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”) Ephesians 2:4-10 I want everyone to know about Jesus. Through Jesus we find forgiveness of our sins and we are reconciled to God our Father when we repent and turn away from sin, confess our sins, and ask Jesus to be our personal Lord and Savior. We also have the promise of eternal life when we believe in Jesus.1 John 2:20-29 (“But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you all know. I have not written to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know it, and because no lie is of the truth. Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son. Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father; the one who confesses the Son has the Father also. As for you, let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father. This is the promise which He Himself made to us: eternal life. These things I have written to you concerning those who are trying to deceive you. As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide in Him. Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming. If you know that He is righteous, you know that everyone also who practices righteousness is born of Him.”) 1 John 2:20-29 2 Corinthians 3:1-18 (“Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, as some, letters of commendation to you or from you? You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. But if the ministry of death, in letters engraved on stones, came with glory, so that the sons of Israel could not look intently at the face of Moses because of the glory of his face, fading as it was, how will the ministry of the Spirit fail to be even more with glory? For if the ministry of condemnation has glory, much more does the ministry of righteousness abound in glory. For indeed what had glory, in this case has no glory because of the glory that surpasses it. For if that which fades away was with glory, much more that which remains is in glory. Therefore having such a hope, we use great boldness in our speech, and are not like Moses, who used to put a veil over his face so that the sons of Israel would not look intently at the end of what was fading away. But their minds were hardened; for until this very day at the reading of the old covenant the same veil remains unlifted, because it is removed in Christ. But to this day whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their heart; but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.”) 2 Corinthians 3:1-18 I encourage you to begin your life with the Lord Jesus you won’t be disappointed. I encourage you to read God’s word daily. I have found it helpful to mark my copy of God’s word with a highlighter and pen. I encourage you to mark your copy of God’s word. Put you’re trust and faith in the Lord Jesus; He is faithful, trustworthy, loving, kind, compassionate, forgiving and merciful. I want you to know I’m praying for you, I’ve been praying that the Lord Jesus would touch your life and prepare your heart. The Lord Jesus has a plan for you, and through Jesus you will find your purpose. Through these years since I have been forgiven of my sins through Jesus, I have been so blessed to come to know God as my Father, and Jesus as my Lord and Savior, my King, Brother, and friend.Proverbs 18:24 (“A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”) Proverbs 18:24 I hope that you repent, confess your sins, and turn to the Lord Jesus, and ask Him to be your personal Lord and Savior you will be eternally blessed.May the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob bless you through His Son Jesus,Jesus servant Hannah HildebrandtJesusservantHannahHildebrandt@gmail.com